Final Finals

You know I had to. If I pass all my classes I will be done with college. This is my last 2 weeks of cramming and no sleep and over-caffeinating and crying in the shows because it’s the only free time. I still have classes right now so it is not technically finals week but… I have papers due for everyone of my classes before finals week. One of my classes will be completely done by next Monday.

Things I hate about finals week:

  • Everything is due at the same time, I have 3 finals due on the 14th! I mean why?!
  • No one is free for things like coffee breaks or getting lunch which extra sucks this year because I’m leaving
  • There is no time for sleep when you need it the most
  • Because everyone is stressing out there is an overwhelming feeling of stress and failure

How I don’t die during finals week:

  • I don’t (hahhah)
  • Taking naps, especially if you are staying up til 2 am, taking an hour nap at 4 pm is totally fine and will give you a boost for the back half of the day
  • Try to keep to a normal sleep schedule wake up at the same time go to bed at the same time, it will feel less like you are over extending yourself even though you are only getting 5 hours of sleep.
  • Self-care is so important because you phyically feel less like dying
    • Shower so you do not feel as gross
    • Eat 3x a day to keep up strength even if you some of them are only snacks and desserts
    • Drink as much water as you do caffeine, once again try not to die.
    • Take breaks to talk to a fellow human being that is not doing the same finals as you and will not just talk about work (this is important

Good luck getting through the next weeks to me and everyone else.

Happy Finals!

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Monthly Recommendations: Books I am thankful for

November (yes I know I am a little late)’s recommendation topic is books I am thankful for. There are lots of ways that one can be thankful for a book: made me the reader I am, connected to a happy memory, got you through a hard time, etc.

  • Harry Potter by JK Rowling: I think this is an obvious one for most people. It sparked my love of magic and obsessive love of Harry Potter. This is also the book my dad brought home when we adopted my baby brother.
  • The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare: So this is a series that came to me at the right point in time. I was going through such a hard time and it made me feel there was where people like me and who cared about me. I read this series with my friend who became my best friend.
  • She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb: Once again a book that showed me that you can be fine no matter what else is happening. This is also the book I was reading when a real professional author, of this book, told me to keep writing and that I had talent. So grateful for both.
  • The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner: This was a book that I read with my 2 best friends in high school and we made a hilarious book report with it (it was on a pumpkin). I really just had such a great time reading it and it made me much less afraid of classical literature.
  • Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo: I read this book my freshman year of college and it just got me out of reading slump and my stress of school and it was such just a bright fun read.
  • Red Rising by Pierce Brown: This is the first book series I read with my boyfriend and we still talk about it all the time and it’s so much at the root of our friendship.

Applying to jobs

I need to do something when I leave school. This is fine and I like working. What I do not like doing is actively pursuing something (a job) that may not be mine. I am so scared of the rejection I know is coming (on average it takes 5o applications for 1 interview). It has not been a fun time.

I am starting with applying to Americorp. It is a year of public service with a living stipend and a grant for school once the service is completed. It’s both the field I want to go into but it also doesn’t tie me down to one place for more than a year. Unfortunately, it is also very competitive. I cannot put all my eggs in this one basket and need to apply to other jobs as well.

Where? What? How much? I honestly do not know.

There are so many job sectors that fit into Political Science (my major) let alone more individual groups and corporations that I could apply to it’s hard to know what to do or what I want. Right now the plan is to apply everywhere and see where the cards fall. It is hard and it sucks. I wish there were more people that could just tell me what to do or where to apply so I don’t have to apply to 50 jobs and get all the rejections that are for sure coming my way.

 

Making the best of the end

I have 6 weeks left of college. Actually probably less than 40 days at this point. It is terrifying. This school has become my home for the past 3 and a half years and it’s going to suck not to have it around or the friends I have grown to rely on. However, college also keeps me from having to be totally responsible for myself from becoming a “real” adult. My goal in my last couple days is to make the best of my last days of undergrad.

A) Yes I am and always have been super nostolgic about everything… even things that were really bad for me when they are going away

B) I am trying not to mope but make the best of it.

A lot of it has been really hard because this has been one of my favorite semesters yet. I am taking classes with professors I really like. My apartment mates are fun. And I have made more friends than I had expected this semester. So I am making the best of it. I am setting time aside to go to plays and have weekly lunches with old friends. I even went to a few parties I haven’t been to in a long time. Hopefully my last few weeks at my school will be happy ones.

Fingers Crossed.

Monthly Recommendations: Favorite Mysteries

For October the topic for the Goodreads group Monthly Recommendations is Favorite Mysteries. I personally don’t read a lot of mysteries it’s probably my least read genre besides non-fiction books. Here are books I have enjoyed that have mysteries or have a focus on something to solve that are good for those just getting into the genre

mysterious benedictlike me.

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart: It is such a fun mystery following gifted children that all work together to solve puzzles and infiltrate mysterious academies.

The Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket: Ahhh the horror and the mystery. I think this is a pretty obvious one but I really enjoyed trying to figure out the Baudelaire’s fate, Count Olaf, VFD, etc.

dick francisSmoke Screen by Dick Francis: Dick Francis is another pretty famous mystery writer. These books are really short fun and easy to get into. Bonus you don’t figure out the murderer on the first page they are introduced!

Miss Marple series by Agatha Christie: Agatha Christie is a must for any mystery but my favorite is Miss Marple, the unseemly old woman who is always in the right place at the right time. Definitely some of the funniest mysteries.

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin: I LOVED this book and mystery! Everyone inthe westing game an apartment building is teamed up to solve the will of an old millionaire to receive inheritance. Everyone has their own secrets it’s such a fun read.

Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins: I know this isn’t the world’s greatest mystery but it’s great for beginners like me and has a really cool unreliable narrator and mostly unlikable characters that you can still root for.

The Body Farm by Patricia Cornwell: Probably the most obvious and gruesome of the bunch. Probably best not to going in knowing too much but compelling and has multiple layers of mystery. body farm

 

Scary Movies for the Easily Scared

It’s Halloween season! Unfortunately it’s not all dress-up and candy lots of people are big fans of binging horror or thriller movies. I am very easily scared and don’t joy the gore that comes from movies like Scream or Annabelle. Here’s some movies that are so great for the spooky season but won’t have you peeing your pants.

  • Coraline: Dark and kinda super eerie… but it’s a kids movie so there aren’t deaths and almost no jump scares.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl: In my personal opinion pirates are very Halloween-y (who hasn’t been a pirate for trick-or-treating?). It’s a super fun paranormal movie with one jump scare (and it involves a monkey)
  • Paranorman: A claymation movie that is ghostly and involves zombies, so you know it’s gonna be good. It’s a very sweet movie and there aren’t jump scares and it is mostly sweet and funny.
  • Hocus Pocus: Enough said.
  • Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein: An old fashioned black and white scary movie. It is creepy but also one of the funniest movie of all time.

Oh, living with others…

Lessons learned in a month and a half of living with 5 other people:

  1. Write your name on all specialty foods or any food you don’t want eaten by other people. Still mad about that blueberry muffin by the way.
  2. If you take more than 15 minutes in the shower, shower or no, someone is going to have to pee. It will be hilarious
  3. The apartment will always smell like food because everyone’s mealtimes are slightly off.
  4. NOT ALL SMELLS GO WELL TOGETHER!
  5. You only get one overnight dish in the sink per night. If you leave every piece of flatware used to make a meal the sink will begin to overflow.
  6. There should never be any hair on bathroom surfaces. It’s really gross and your roommates will not let it go… even after you point out that you are not the only one with long, curly hair.
  7. These will become some of your closest humans, not a lot of people get to survive you in the mornings. Or understand the intensity of game show night. Or have dance parties as you all stress out about midterms.

It’s your home. Be courteous. Have fun.

Monthly Recommendations: Required Reading

This is a Goodread’s group that gives book recommendations based on a different topic every month. This month is centered around the books that you believe that everyone should read. This was really hard for me so I decided to split it up by age-range and we will see how this works.

Children:

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster- I refer to this book frequently as though everyone had it… so everyone should. It’s wonderful and smart and made me feel less bad about liking school more than my classmates.

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein – I am pretty sure everyone has had to read this for school or has been read this by some teacher figure. However, everyone needs to learn that they always have something to give BUT don’t anyone all of themselves.

Middle-grade:

Harry Potter by J.K.Rowling- You know you have to read this. There shouldn’t be a lot of discussion.       You will like it I pinky swear.

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg – The traditional children running away from home. Claudia and Jamie don’t know why they just want to run away as all children should and they go to hide in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Young Adult:

Monster by Walter Dean Myers – Please read this. It’s the story of a young African-American man on trial in association for a crime he knew nothing about. As he studies film he writes his diary of the trial as a script. If you care about, race, or law, or film (everyone should care about all three) you need to read this.

The Harper Hall Trilogy by Anne McCaffery – This is one of my favorite series of all time . Dragons. Music. Found family. Being able to choose a home where you are safe and wanted. I think that everyone would enjoy at least some aspect of this series and I love it, so everyone should read it.

Adult:

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman ( I know it says Stetson here but she got divorced for reasons obvious once you read the story) – It is a short horror story that is an iconic feminist and mental health tale. That everyone must read at at least one point in their life.

All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot – The only non-fiction book I am recommending because it is the best. It is the true story of an English country veterinarian and his truly bizarre adventure. It’s so interesting to learn about the medicine and culture. Also everyone I know likes it.

All the Kings Men by Robert Penn Warren – This was required reading for me and became one of my favorite books of all time. The best written book most people will ever read. It follows Jack Burden who works for a corrupt southern governor in the 1930s. It is both profound and hilarious, someone being compared to a drunkards poodle hilarious.

Ambiguous Loss

So right now life sucks a little bit. Not just the stress of the year but my family suffered a loss. A loss but not a death. It’s hard to explain to others why I am hurting so bad when they aren’t dead. It is instead the loss of someone that was such a large part of my heart and my life that can no longer be that person, at least I don’t think so.

For a while I was trying to validate my feelings of grief when I came across the phenomena of Ambiguous Loss. It’s a very specific type of grief where there is no closure or true understanding of what happened just that it has happened. Unfortunately, there is also hope. The person that you love could become back to the person you loved again. It leaves you in the grieving process but doesn’t allow you to get to a point of acceptance because there is a hope of change.

So yeah, while life continues I am in a constant state of numb and sad. It’s definitely made planning for my future hard while there is such a hole in my present life. I’m restarting therapy this week but hopefully things start looking up or at least moving forward.

Wish me luck!

Senior Year

So, I am almost done with college. I have one semester left of finishing my undergraduate degree and to be honest I’m freaking out. I’m not exactly sure where or who I want to be when I leave this campus in four months. I’m not sure that I can do anything actually. Do you ever get that fear that if you talk about something too much it’s just not going to happen? I am planning and have been approved to graduate this December, however every time I bring it up I fear that it’s not actually going to happen. That I’ll have to explain myself when I come back next semester. I know that I should be fine.

This semester academically is tough I am taking an additional class to graduate early, which means I have a slightly heavier work load than most of my friends. But it’s all elective classes in my major and minor, which means I actually like the subject matter and I’m not just stuck with them. The weirdest part about being a senior though is when in class I am the oldest academically there. That’s freaky, sometimes I still feel as lost as a freshman.

My goals for this semester is not to fall behind academically but also not miss out socially. I don’t my last semester of college to be one that I regret or wish I had done something differently.

Wish me luck.